Geneses is a self-described "one-off" written by LettuceBacon&Tomato and published on November 25th, 2011 (Thanksgiving). It can be read here.

It transcribes Genesis 3 from the Hebrew Bible as it reads in the Darwin's Soldiers universe.


The serpent convinces Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge in the center of the Eden. She does, but also feeds the fruit to her husband and the animals of the garden. This gives the animals sentience, and causes them to "stand up".

Later God finds out about this and punishes the serpent, Adam, Eve, and the other animals by expeling them from Eden. In particular, he removes the hind legs from all snakes, promises painful childbirths for women and a lifetime of hard labor for men, and states that animals will remain subservient to humans despite their newfound sentience.

God then places a cherub with a flaming sword to guard the entrance.



  • Despite claiming to be a translation of the 'Hebrew Bible', the story uses the Christian term 'God' instead of 'Yahweh'.
  • Other than intentional alterations, there is a major problem with the final line. In all translations of the Bible, God placed 'cherubim' (plural) with a flaming sword, wheras this story mentions only 'a cherubim'.
  • While LettuceBacon&Tomato usually posts his stories in grey lettering, for this story he used green.

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